Introduction
Why do you need to choose yourself? What are we really looking for in life? Is it happiness, love, success, peace, or simply a place where we can finally feel that we belong? We spend so much of our lives searching for answers. We go on asking answers from everyone.
What happens when the choices we make do not bring us where we thought they would? What happens when anxiety traps us and people hurt us? When we feel everyone else is moving ahead. What is life about? Is it about finding one perfect answer?
Let’s find out.
Table of Contents
What are we looking for?
If I were to tell you that I have sat with myself, with utmost peace, then that would be a lie. If I were to tell you that there has not been a time in my life when life was like how it was when I was a child, when I was naive, then that would be a lie as well.
What do we go on looking for in our lives? What do we go on looking for in our lives?
Which race are we fighting? Which wars are we fighting?
We had a plan for our lives, didn’t we?
What happens when you listen to everyone but yourself?
I was very naive, trust me. I worked so hard on my grades without even figuring out what I really wanted to do with my life. I heard from everywhere what was right for me, and I pursued it.
Then, when I did it, I realised that this was not what I wanted to do. So, I sat back and reflected on what I wanted to do.
I was in my early twenties then, but when I told this to people around me. They found me insane for not earning by then and for following my path. They nagged me day in and day out. They said that I was not going to succeed. It is a small world in a box.
How did anxiety feel?
I was someone who was handling resentment. I was somebody with years of grief and anxiety stored in each part of my being. I was a scared person.
When I stepped out, there was anxiety. When I had a task to be done, there was anxiety. When there was a challenge, even in its trivial form, I had anxiety for you. This was not the saddest part. The saddest part was that I had seen within me, after all the storms that this life threw at me, as I sat in the corners of my room, wanting no one but myself.
When the past still lingers on – On Love, Being alone, and Forgiveness
As I sat there, you know what? It still rains here.
Yes, but as I sat there as a kid or teenager, whatever, I saw that after all the showers, my voice told me to find myself in you; maybe, as they all say, you are not alone, are you?
It feels so hard to forgive. You really want to, but the pain lives in you. It pulls you back into the ocean, again and again, until it drowns you.
See what is being born when everything feels like dying – On Dreams
Then, as they say, healing is a long process. Everything is – wisdom after pain, success after failures, love after heartbreaks, finding yourself after being lost.
But the saddest part was that I did not even know that I was lost!
I had eaten myself alive with my fear, with what everyone wanted me to do, in trying to be accepted and loved by this world.
I had seen a different me in those moments – the ferocious me, the best lover, the best daughter, sister, the best person in the world. Is this why so much pain was given to me? Is this why I have felt so aloof in this world?
Did my buckets carry a different water? – On feeling behind
Is this why my life has been kept empty to make space for the biggest things?
Everyone’s buckets were full. Were mine empty because they had to carry a different water?
I had said that somewhere deep down, I believed that my words and my hands would heal every being on this earth.
Tell me, is it the calm before the storm? Is it the war before the strength? What is it?
You have no idea how much pain I have carried within me. You have no idea.
When you have to learn the rules of the world
When I am feeling like this, and I want to forgive every bad person who wronged me, as I can feel the pain behind their behaviour? But then no. That’s not how the world works. No.
How much strength was hidden in that pain? How much pain made it to my body?
How many years and challenges did it take to leave me finally?
What does our passion teach us about life?
Tell me, is it my redemption or an enunciation? Tell me, do I write for you? Have I ever written for you? If I had done that, then I would have disgraced myself. I wouldn’t have done justice to myself.
Had I brought thought into writing, I would not have been able to write even a single word.
This is how we must live life, isn’t it?
What are the answers to deeper questions in life – On postponing life
What have we even got after all the planning? Have we not given up on the tiny little moments of happiness just because we thought that they were temporary? Have we not postponed happiness?
When have you been happy?
Am I talking about happiness or laughter? Am I talking about pain or crying? Am I talking about power or random rushes of motivation?
Where do I seek everlasting? – On living in extremes
Do I seek it in me or outside?
Why do I even seek everlasting? Why do I even seek anything at all? Why do I put my mind into everything?
Why do I go to the extremes? Why do you wander in the extremes of the middle path?
Do I know that I am going to the extremes when I am going into anything? Does the mind have all the answers?
Do you need all the answers? Do you need it all?
Do you need to run or walk? At times, run and run. Maybe, walk and walk. Who knows?
What do you know?
What can we choose in life?
When it is all quiet within. When you sit back. When you don’t seek. When you become whole.
Then do you go running again? Do you try to erase all pain in you? Do you stop yourself from feeling sadness, like a menu you cherry-pick all the good things?
Can you, for once, choose it all? Can you not choose anything at all?
What to do when you are lost? What to do when your emotions and past haunt you?
Run?
Hide?
Or stay.
The final question for you
What do you do when your mind seems scary, when this life feels scary? What do you do?
When you have to deal with scary people out there? When you have to choose yourself and maybe find yourself alone and hated?
Who asked you to seek love?
In which fairytale world did you think anyone loves anyone but themselves? Shall anyone cut their flesh and bleed for you?
Did you embark on this journey?
What are Choosing Yourself Quotes?
Deep Choosing Yourself Quotes:
- How much strength was hidden in that pain? How much pain made it to my body?
- Everyone’s buckets were full. Were mine empty because they had to carry a different water?
- I had eaten myself alive with my fear, with what everyone wanted me to do, in trying to be accepted and loved by this world.
- It feels so hard to forgive. You really want to, but the pain lives in you. It pulls you back into the ocean, again and again, until it drowns you.
- Why do I go to the extremes? Why do you wander in the extremes of the middle path?
FAQs
What does it mean to choose yourself?
Choosing yourself means to listen to your own needs, values, dreams, and feelings. You do not let other people’s expectations to decide your life. It means learning to trust yourself, make your own choices, and find your own path.
How to actually choose yourself?
You must seek within. Look for what you want. Then, once your being answers it for you, do not look back.
Why choose yourself first?
You must choose yourself first because you are the one who has to live with your choices. You shall face the consequences of your choices.
Is it okay to choose yourself?
It is not only okay but indeed necessary to choose yourself. You are the only one who can take care of yourself the best. You are the only one who can understand yourself the best.
Conclusion
We spend too much of our lives trying to find the right way to live, as if someone else has already discovered the answer. We listen, we choose, we make mistakes, we get hurt, we fall behind. Then, we wonder if we have wasted our lives.
Maybe there is no life without pain, uncertainty, mistakes, or difficult choices. All that we can do is learn from them. Maybe it is time to listen to ourselves a little more, trust our voice, follow our passion, and find our own path.
To choose yourself does not mean that you stop caring about others. It just means that somewhere amidst all the noise, you remember that this your life is yours too!
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Check out more:
The Self-Love Journey: Finding Yourself Before Making Life’s Hardest Decisions
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